and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
