I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
