He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
