my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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