so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
