People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
