i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
