Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
