she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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