i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
