At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
