to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
