And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
