playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That reminds me...we need to get swords
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize