Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize