i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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