Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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