i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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