But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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