Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize