2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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