I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
