I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
