This is not my ceiling
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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