i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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