For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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