So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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