the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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