His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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