well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
