whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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