carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
