can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
