She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
