is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
