I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
