Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
