I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
