I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
