found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
