i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it because I queefed?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
