...so i touched it.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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