stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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