Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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