Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
only if we run a train.
done.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
