She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
