I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
