And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
