Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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