So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
