Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
