it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
