And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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