The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
