Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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