Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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