I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
