I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize