My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
