he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
