i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
