Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
