i may or may not be watching the land before time
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
