Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
