Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize