If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
