so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
