I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
