Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
