Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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