so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
