Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
