Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize